Tales of the Parodyverse

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Adversarius
Mon Jan 10, 2005 at 04:01:40 am EST
Subject
Scrubs Ch. 2
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WARNING: This chapter contains a bit a referrence to the dysfunctions I see with religious over-zealousy and fanaticism. If however, you are offended by such commentary about faith and the like, I apologise ahead of time.

This chapter is significantly longer than the first, but I hope that makes up for the fact that it took, infinitely too long, to write. Work and daily living hassles aside, they're no excuse, I apologize for allowing this to take so long.

Anywho, on with the show, hope people still like it after this and have desire for further continuation of the series.

"Scrubs"
The "Not just a Pilot anymore" Chapter
By
Andrew Woollard
AKA. Adversarius


Joshua lookes quizically into Illysia's 'coke bottle' frames and shakes his head, slightly perturbed that he had met anyone in the world that recognized his 'hero' name.

"So, is it true?" Illysia gazes with wide eyes.

Joshua blushes slightly, illuminating his generally, bluish-pale skin. "Err, is what true?" Joshua looks to Gale frantically, but to no avail, as the doctor has his attention focussed solely on Illysia's posterior now that her back is turned to him.

"You know, the rumors about you being a super hero who uses his own blood as a weapon..." Joshua shakes his head in disappointment that of all his amazing exploits as a vagabond hero, the only thing people remember is that he uses his own blood as a weapon. "Oh my god, that's so gross..." Illysia exclaims, visibly shivering at the thought of blood.

"Oh, heh. Yes, it's true, my powers revolve around my ability to manipulate my blood." Joshua raises the unbandaged hand to waist height, openning a small cut in the middle of his palm and allowing a large droplet to form.

"The basis of it stems from my natural ability to manipulate my red blood cells, and from that, the ambient water that they're in." Joshua begins to tighten the muscles in his wrist as he focusses on the center of his hand, causing the blood to change into various geometric shapes before withdrawing it into his hand again and wrapping the cut over again. "Sorry, I'm a little weak of late, so that's about the best I can do for now."

Illysia pushes her slouching glasses back up the bridge of her nose, staring wide in amazement. "Wow, that's the grossest and coolest thing I've ever seen in my life." Joshua frowns slightly, but decides it's better to have some admiration than none.

"And if you're done showing off for my aide, I think you came here for a reason Joshua..." Gale puts an arm between Illysia and Joshua, stepping up to Joshua and staring him down for a moment before snorting and stomping off towards the cryo-ward.

Joshua stands deathly still, blinking in confusion until Illysia hooks her arm around his elbow and tugs him down the hall, chuckling slightly. "I wouldn't worry about it, I'd be jealous too if someone showed up and started fawning after someone as pretty as I am."

"Conceited much?" Joshua laughs as he walks down the hall with Illysia in pursuit of Dr. Gale.

"Better believe it."


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"... attacked a medical ward today, but was defeated by PU's very own Professor Gale, aka "The Surgeon General", who could not be reached for comment, as he had left before news teams arrived. The assailants however mysteriously vanished. More on this story at eleven. In other news-"

The vividly colored screen explodes in a shower of sparks as the television remote crashes through the glass.

A short man, clad in red and silver-lined robes, sporting a golden crown laced with fine assorments of jewelry and a scepter paces angrily around the small, circular table where two of the six seats are empty.

The others however are filled with the rest of the team. Queen sits relaxed in a lush, coushoned chair with her feet raised on the table.

The next is Knight, a man adorned in a large suit or armor, brimming with mideaval weaponry, all of which are jokingly inferior compared with the serrated broad sword around his back.

The man to his right is Bishop, a man dressed in minister's clothing, he sits cross-legged in his chair with his hands bawled tightly as he prays silently.

And finally there is a small child who appears to be wrapped in Egyptian style, mumification cloth.

"Rook. Do you know why I brought you onto this team?" King stops his pacing, walking over to a broken man lying in a pool of blood.

Rook struggles to get to his knees, his entire body wracked with injuries. "be- ... because you said I had ... much potential ... and you needed me." Rook speaks wearily through coughs of blood.

"Well, you're right on one account, you do have much potential. What you lack is everything else. Competence, ambition, cunning... But more disappointingly, you lack discipline." King shakes his head in shame, scratching the scruff of his beard.

"I'm so sorry sir. I know I failed my mission, but please give me a second change, I know I can beat Gale." Rook nods apologetically and bows to King's feet.

"What do you mean my friend? You performed flawlessly in your mission. I never, for a second, believed you could beat The Surgeon General." King chuckles giddily before almost doubling over with a howl of laughter. King slaps his knee, wiping a tear from his reddened face as he straightens up. "Your mission was to gauge your and his abilities."

"You mean ... you used me?" Rook stares up, wide-eyed in confusion.

"Well of course I did. I had to test my enemy's defenses, that's elementary in a game of chess. But it's ok, when I sacrifice a piece, I always make sure to use it's loss to my fullest advantage. And with you, to your fullest potential." King's demeanor changes slightly to a wry smile, motioning with his index finger for Pawn.

The small child like frame hops out of the seat which left its feet dangling several inches above the rug floor. It skips over to King cheerfully, standing by his side.

"I believe you're familiar with what the pawn does in chess, right Rook? You do still remember what the pieces do, don't you?" King snickers as he points to Rook.

"It's probably the best and most versatile piece on the field to be quite honest. Its true power is belayed by its seeming innocence, right? Who would suspect the humble pawn, with its limited movement and stature, could pose a threat? That is, till they feel the wrath of its ability to become any one of its fallen comrades? It's sad really, by the time they realize its threat, it's already behind enemy lines, and more potently dangerous than the original."

Rook stares on in horror as Pawn begins to unravel itself, revealing nothing more than the cloth itself being the form of the creature. Pawn lashes out at Rook, quickly encasing his head it an air-tight sheet of cloth, using it's body to suffocate its former teamate.

The remainder of the team sit and watch silently as Rook struggles to tear the creature from his head, but to no avail, finally collapsing. After a few moments, Rooks body begins to shake and contort, finally uprighting itself with Pawn in control.

King smiles as he scratches his beard once more. "Well, I guess you were right on both accounts Rook, I did need you, just not ... you."

King turns to the rest of the team. "Unfortunately, it'll take a little time for Pawn to get fully adjusted to the new body and powers. Who among you would like to instead take on the new consort of Gale's? He is my arch-enemy, but as the old saying goes, 'An enemy of my friend is my enemy ... or something like that.' So we now have a new menace to deal with, this 'Hemophiliac' could represent a problem if he's not dealt with accordingly."

Bishop raises a hand, adjusting his collar beneath his cassock. "I will kill the monstrosity." I know of this creature and some of it's history in the "Crime Fighting" business."

King lets a grin cross his lips as he nods in acceptance. "How long until you can craft a plan of attack?"

"One week at most." Bishop stands and snaps his fingers, summoning a collumn of fire to surround him, the flames leaping high and dying out to reveal that he has vanished.

"This will be entertaining to watch, how will you manage Gale? How will you react when I kill yet another of your dear friends..." King smiles as the lights in the room dissolve to pitch black.


-----------------------------------------------------------------------


Illysia pushes her way through the double doors as she enters to cryogenics lab. Before her, Dr. Gale sits with his hands in the pockets of his labcoat, feet rested on top of a cryo-chamber containing the body of Joshua Lancaster.

"So, like, what's what deal with this guy anyway, why has he been hooked up inside that tube for 5 days? And why have you been here guarding him like he was some kind of convict?" Illysia takes a seat on the chamber and tosses a can of Coke Koala: Australian Brand Soda to Gale.

Gale catches it and opens the tab on the top of the can, taking a deep gulp, followed by an ellongated belch which illicits a disgusted sigh from Illysia.

"Well, since you don't know Lancaster that well, I'll tell ye a tale, so listen up youngin'." Gale sets his drink on the floor as he stares up at the hypnotically, slow rotating ceiling fan. "Joshua was born with the disease, hemophilia, which doesn't allow for the platelets in his blood to concentrate and form clots, which would be scabs, capable of stopping bleeding."

"Because of this, Joshua's parents came to me to help deal with their son's condition. Coincidentally, through whatever genetic, meta-human, science jargen, trait that caused his hemophilia, he also gained the ability to control his blood, as he showed you before. Through this, he is able to control certain amounts of water that his blood touches."

"However, when Joshua became a teenager, he suffered a major injury to his chest, which caused substantial bleeding. Even though I tried to cure it with the medical knowlege at my disposal, the bleeding was just too severe, no amount of stitching would help and we couldn't cauterize because the wound was too deep. The only solution was to have Joshua take full control of the blood in his body, at all times of the day to make sure he never bled out."

Illysia raises her hands to her lips, musing over what she has just heard. "But that would mean..."

"That is correct, Joshua must be fully conscious at all times and can never allow himself to sleep. He must remain awake at all times of the day, every day of the year." Gale removes his glasses and breathes on them to cover them with steam, proceeding to clean them with his thumb.

"That is why Joshua comes to me for three weeks of the year, spends the time in this cryotank and effectively takes a three week power-nap to catch himself up for the next year. While he's in the cryotank, his wounds don't need to worry about reoppening."

Illysia is about to speak when Gale snaps to attention quickly, a round of soft clapping is heard from a man leaning against the double doors.

Illysia turns her head to see a minister standing in the doorway, beaming a friendly smile with his eyes closed.

"That's quite the story." The minister walks closer to the duo as Gale eyes the man suspiciously. Gale muses to himself. 'I don't like this one bit, I never even heard him enter the room...' Illysia stands to greet the new arrival. "To what do we owe this honor professor Cain?"

"Professor?" Gale stands and adjusts his glasses, offering a hand to shake the other professor's amiably.

"Yes, professor of religious studies here at PU." The man makes a quick flip of his fingers to produce a business card with his name and course schedule on it.

"Well, I've never been one for mysticism and the like. I prefer to believe what I can reason, define, and explain." Gale smiles coyly as Cain becomes slightly red in the face.

"Religion is NOT mysticism..." Cain clenches his eyes tighter as he takes a deep breath.

"So, professor, may I inquire as to why you are here?" Gale takes on a serious tone as he continues to monitor the man's movements carefully.

Cain grins as he begins circling around the cryotank and lays a hand on the glass. "Oh, just in the neighborhood, heard your story while passing by and thought I might deliver for this poor boy some ..."

"Last Rites!" Cain quickly lifts the hand previously concealed by his cassock with a crucifix shaped stake, raising it high to smash through the glass and into Joshua's head.

Dr. Gale immediately reaches within the sleeves of his labcoat to unleash a volley of scalpals at Cain's raised hand. Cain narrowly evades the attack and jumps backwards, his first attempt thwarted. Gale leaps over to cryotank to put himself between Cain and Joshua's sleeping form.

"I don't care to know what it is you have against this boy, but I won't simply allow you to hurt him." Gale glances around the room. 'Damn.' He thinks to himself as decides that it will be difficult to protect both Josh and Illysia in such a confined room.

"Well, this goes against what I'd normally do, but, unfortunately, it seems I will have to take the battle to you." Gale dashes at Cain sending a flurry of jabs to his opponent's chest and abdomen, finishing off his foray with jab beneath Cain's sternum, causing him to lose his breath. "Heh, I guess you weren't 'Abel' to handle this mission."

Cain throws the stake to the ground in anger, removing tearing away his robe to reveal his minister's clothing. "Well, it seems that as a doctor, you've become more adept at dealing with the physical than I have. But no worries, I shall use the gift bestowed to me by God to kill you and that boy." Cain raises a hand to chest height and snaps his fingers, igniting a small ball of fire above his index finger. "Now you shall die by my divine blaze."

Gale barely has time to block the torrent of fire that is spewn forth as Cain takes a deep breath and sends flames in Gale's direction with the air escaping his lips. When Cain is out of breath, he lowers his hand to see Gale kneeling before Josh's tank, shielding it with his back.

"Hmph. How pathetic, sacrificing your own life for some filthy mutant kid. It seems having a P.H.D. these days does quite mean as much as it used to." Cain stalks over to Gale, delivering a swift kick to the ribs and sending him to the wet floor as the ceiling's fire extinguisher system activates to put out the heat source.

CRACK! Cain stumbles slightly and turns around to see what has struck him over the back. Illysia stands behind him, holding a plastic folding-chair and quivering, terrified.

"You silly woman, have you learned nothing from the Bible? Women can't do anything right." A swift back-handed slap sends Illysia reeling to the floor and her glasses shattering beside her.

Cain turns to resume his assasination attempt on Josh, but finds himself face to face with a stern and healed Gale. "Have you learned nothing from the Bible? Pricks like you never win in the end." Gale grabs Cain's shoulders and rears his head back, head-butting Cain directly between the eyes.

Gale quickly begins to reset the cryotank to begin unfreezing before walking over to Illysia and helping her to stand up. "Thank you. You stalled him just long enough for me to mostly regenerate all the dermal burn wounds and muscles tissues damage."

"And all it cost me was my perscription glasses... You are so, paying for those." Gale smiles as he helps Illysia to hobble back to the towards the chairs by the doors.

"You thought this was gonna be so easy, didn't you?" Gale freezes in horror as Cain's voice echoes in the room. "As a matter of fact, I have read the Bible. And although there is no rest for the wicked, there is no rest for the world's saviors as well. I am going to destroy the mutant/meta-human threat to humanity with my powers, and for the inexcusable crime of siding with them, I'm going to burn you to ashes as well! But look on the bright side, it'll be like a warm-up for your time in Hell."

Cain rises to his feet, taking a deep breath and raising his hand once more, igniting the flame at the tip of his finger before sending a wave of fire flowing from his mouth at Gale.

Gale barely has time to protect Illysia with his body as his back is once again enveloped with fire, causing bone-chilling screams to fill the corridors of the empty hospital wing.

Illysia screams as well, watching Gale fall into shock as he slumps to the floor, his slowly healing, but charred skin releasing a pungent odor.

Cain begins to take a step forward with a triumphant smile on his face. "Who the f*** do you think you are?"

"And how long have you been awake kid?" Cain turns to see Joshua standing beside his cryotank. Joshua stands in nothing but unstable molecule based boxers, the only clothing material that can survive the cooling and reaheating process of crogenics, revealing a body racked with injury. Cuts of all variable sizes across his entire frame, and one large cut beneath his sternum.

"Long enough to see you attacking my friends and listen to your psychotic bullshit. Now answer my question."

"I am Noah Cain, also known as The Bishop of the Chess Club." Cain stares distastefully. "No need to introduce yourself, I know exactly who you are."

"Good, then we can get this over with sooner."

"My sentiments exactly!" Cain once again begins to unleash a deluge of fire in Josh's direction.

"Not gonna happen!" Josh stomps his foot, sending some of his blood coursing into the liquid, causing the water on the floor to gather into a pool around him and rise into a shield infront of him. Steam fills the room as the stream of fire hits the wall of water.

Joshua smiles as he walks forward, openning all the wounds on his body slightly. "You know the best thing about water? Although it takes many forms, it never actually disappears, it just gets converted into a different form and eventually converted back, but at all times, it's still water." Josh clenches his teeth as the steam in the air around him begins to take on a red shade, spreading through the water in the air and towards his opponent.

"What in the the world are you doing to me?" Cain stares on in terror as the red mist begins to enter into the broken nose than he recieved from Gale earlier. Cain tries to move, but Joshua's blood has coursed into his body and paralysed him.

"Simple, I'm putting some of my blood in your body to fight you on my terms." Joshua reaches an outstretched hand to focus on Cain. "You know, I never liked people like you. I always held a different opinion of the Bible and faith. I was lead to believe it was about love. The infinite love and forgiveness of a God, who through all the wickedness of men still had faith in them, and only desired the faith in his forgiveness, from them in return. But to be honest, your way seems to fit you best, some people, are just beyond redemption." Joshua clenches his fist, reversing the flow of Cain's blood in his heart and causing his veins to tear.

Cain's body slumps to the floor as blood spills forth from his mouth, sliding across the lynoleum floor and returning to it's original owner through the cuts in Josh's feet.

Joshua begins to take a step but falls to his knees, resorting to crawling over to Gale and Illysia, completely exausted. Illysia stares at him in shock, crawling away as he collapses to the floor, his eyes drifting shut...


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